What Am I Gonna’ Do?

By: George Wallace

This oft heard lament suddenly strikes different folks at different moments around the time of their retirement. It is as if for the first time they finally really confront the stark reality that they suddenly are going to have a lot of time on their hands. They don’t have to get up early. They have no place to go. In untold instances they have nothing worthwhile they want to do with their lives.

I rush to indicate that I am perfectly aware that the phenomena above tends to happen to men more than to women. Men are weaker than women. Men tend to narrowly focus their lives, their sense of who they are, and their importance in the world, in their money making work. I think that they do this because it is easier to keep score on success this way. Women tend to be more sensitive to a larger array of life purposes, and definitely have a more personal connection to more realistic priorities.

Unfortunately this all too often means that women are the ones that by default are stuck with rearing the children, cleaning the house, cooking the meals, paying the bills, and washing the clothes. What this really means is that women more easily see the dirt and mess and can’t stand it, and feel compelled to clean it all up. A man, on the other hand, would simply blindly wallow in dirt, filth, and squalor. Thus giving rise to the bumper sticker: men are pigs.

To the extent that your family has fallen into this pattern, upon retirement, every woman owes it to herself to give half of these duties to her husband at his retirement and then walk away from them entirely. If he could earn a paycheck, run a business, and deal with the psychological complexities of a staff, then he can learn to run a vacuum cleaner, a washer and a dryer, and keep the bills paid. This is called sharing the load of running a household. Isn’t it time he grew up? He will need these essential skills should something happen to you, and you are not there to protect him.

Worthwhileness is the key. Every person will establish their own values for their choices of lifestyle activities. Every person values things and experiences differently. What is valuable to me, bores you to tears. The great thing about life today is that so many choices exist.

If you are between 55 and 65, all things being equal, you have a reasonable chance today of living for another 30 to 40 years. That is as long as you spent working for a living. It is also a substantial block of useful time.

Yes, there is a question about how you are going to pay for the leisure of retirement. However, the point and direction of this article is not finances. That will be covered by me another time, or by another person. I want to use my brief time in your attention range over the few minutes we have together to suggest to you that you have fantastic opportunities open to you when you retire.

That is by far the most important question. What are you going to do with the rest of your life? What are you going to do? What are you going to be? This question should be at least as important to you now as when you were 16 years of age. If you even try a little, you can find hundreds of stories about folks like you doing great things with their remaining decades. Yes, decades. Not minutes, ten year long decades. Think longer term. A span of time equal to a career. You have time to reinvent yourself. Will you be all you can be? That is the question.

Yes, you also have the choice to crawl off into your own style of dark hole. You can pull it I upon yourself, and die. Congratulations, you have just reinvented organic fertilizer as an involved participant.

Yes, you also have the opportunity to make a difference in trying to make the world a better place. You have the sum total of the learning experiences of your life, likely 50 years or more. That experience is valuable to you and others. Put it to work. You can choose to apply yourself to an entirely new area of endeavor. Do some reading. Do some remembering. Explore the internet as an information source. Possibly you will want to make an entirely new choice. Possibly you will be happy doing the same kind, or related, thing. My stepfather-in-law is over ninety and continues to work as an attorney, on a reduced schedule, keeping his mind and body active and alive.

You can volunteer in dozens of ways and for hundreds of causes. Find something you are passionate about. Learn more about it. Get involved. Make the third phase of your life as valuable as the second phase.

You can go back to school. You can retrain. You know how to learn. You know how to concentrate. You are a proven success at learning and doing. You are a proven success at surviving tough times. Build on that success. You have the most important thing, you have the freedom to pursue your interests.

Perhaps you just want to be a generalist. Begin attending public meetings of your choice. City board, county council, school board, library board, water district, flood abatement district, mosquito abatement district, recreation and park district, and sewer district board meetings are nearly always open to the public. Most are so poorly attended that some boards will be shocked that you are in the audience. In fact, you may be the only audience. It is also the only way to learn what is really going on, and you may create for yourself a new interest.

One of the things you will discover is that over your working lifetime we have in America changed the fundamental ways in which people actually live. You were so busy making a living that it slipped by your notice. When you are older, you begin to notice the radical ways in which our society has changed the lines along which we organize ourselves and our lives. As you associate more with older folk, you will begin to notice how radically their lives are reformed by the presence, or absence, of a personal automobile. Some “retirement” communities are reorganizing around electric vehicles, essentially golf carts, as ways to go grocery shopping, to the doctor, the dentist, and church. In many communities older persons are forced to relocate to have public transit available to get around.

Many retired people are seeking out, visiting, and rediscovering small towns where many essential services are within easy walking distances. We’ve all seen the ads for the small electric carts or chairs on TV. There must be a strong market for such vehicles.

A friend recently moved to a small mid-western town. There he has essentially nearly everything he needs within four blocks of his home. He is walking more, feels stronger, healthier, is slowly losing weight, and has more spring in his step. More importantly, he is getting to know his new neighbors. He is establishing relationships and connections. He is also generally finding folks to be friendlier than a casual wave from a car window will support.

Article Source: http://www.retirementlivingarticledirectory.com

(c) Copyright 2006: George Wallace recently published a book on religion which lashes out at nearly all of the comfortable ideas about God, the trappings of organized religion, and the priesthood. His pithy comments and suggestions for a return to a God-centered personal religion will interest everyone. This article may be freely reprinted so long as all copyright attributions, and the full content of this resource box are included. www.OhGodIsThatYou.com

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